Not Yet - Part 2


 

Trust the Journey Series

February 8, 2025
Not Yet - Part 2

There was a new opportunity at my own school. I had begun leading professional development on campus and was trusted by many. I thought this was going to be the big opportunity. I was prepared for the interview, I knew the needs of my school, and I was determined that I would be able to make it an even better place to learn and grow.  I was ready!!

When we (as a staff) got the email that someone else had been hired, my emotions were all over the place. I was angry, I was sad, I was disappointed, I was hurt. I had known my principal for many years - and my heart was broken - this "not yet" really became personal. I could not do 40 years of this! 

As I jumped into the Word, several reminders became the lifeline for me:  
First, the story of Joseph and his brothers reminded me that God's plan is perfect. Even though hard things are thrown at us, there is purpose in them. (Joseph was sold into slavery, became trusted - and was moved into a position of leadership, then was accused of a crime, served many years in prison for this crime that he did not commit, and later (again) became the leader of Pharaoh's men in Egypt.  Later the brothers who had sold him into slavery relied on him to support them through a famine. HE FORGAVE THEM, took them in, and protected them. WOW!)
Next, the story of the Pharaoh 400 years later whose heart had been hardened by God. Pharaoh refused to listen to Moses - and allowed awful things to happen to his own people because God allowed the hardened heart. He had a purpose for Moses and His people, and wanted to show that He is in control at all times. Who was I to not trust Him? (Again, I was pride. That was me. It was becoming so clear.)
Finally, I did a bible-based, book study with a group of women from my school called, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions by Lysa TerKeurst (I highly recommend, by the way!). There were so many nuggets of biblical wisdom in this book! Here are a few:

Emotions are indicators NOT dictators. I quickly learned that just because I feel something or someway, does not mean that the emotion has any power over my actions. 

Am I trying to prove that I am right, or improve the relationship? My pride had made me difficult. I was smarter than everyone else in the room (my parents, my administration, my friends... I am so thankful that most still love me!). 

The more we read God's truths and let truth fill our minds, the less time we'll spend contemplating untruths. Always go to His word for clarity. 

I begged God to chisel me. I allowed Him to take the bitterness and the anger (this is a choice that must be made), and he did! I first recognized my own insecurities, mistakes, and true lack of leadership ability. This was a tough pill to swallow, but it was true. I see now that I believed that  leadership was "being the boss, being in charge, making things better from my own perspective". I was not mature enough to lead well. I began to forgive those who had hurt me. I also committed to growing myself daily through His word. His truth grounded me in growth. 

And, suddenly, I got a phone call - out of the blue...




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